One Decade Down...Nine To Go

I started this particular journey on May 27th, although I didn't have my phone that day, so I didn't actually start tracking anything online until a few days later.  According to www.myfitnesspal.com, I am now on a 41 day streak of logging in.  And this week, although I registered a 2.5 lb loss, I have hit my first major wall.

This week, I have had a serious struggle with my exercise.  Up until this week, it was very easy.  I was highly motivated, and looked forward to getting my hour in each day. But something happened on Sunday.  It was a turning point for me, somehow.  Sunday was the first day I made a DECISION not to exercise.

I justified it..or tried to...by saying that I 'deserved' a break, after so many days with a perfect score.
Warning bells began tolling furiously in my brain, but I did not heed them. After all...it was just one little day.  Surely it couldn't be THAT bad....

Could it?

I decided to compensate by upping my game this week, from one hour each day to four miles each day, since I've been averaging a little over 3 miles anyway.  I figured it was a natural progression.  But something happened when I did that....not sure what, but it was like a light switched on in my head and all of a sudden, my body/mind/spirit put on the brakes, big time.

All of a sudden, walking became a HUGE chore. One I did NOT want to do.  I battled on Monday...got two miles in (barely), swore I'd finish that afternoon....but made excuses (too many errands to run).  Tuesday, I got rained out during my afternoon walk, and only made about 2.7 miles. I could have done it that morning, and been done, but I procrastinated all day.  Wednesday, I got my four, but barely, and I really had to battle myself. 

Now it's Thursday, and I need to get up and go right now, but here I sit, wondering what the hell has happened....and for God's sake, why?

Oh, I recognize this, all right.  It happens at some point each and every time I start to get myself together, without fail.  Usually, it's the point where I slide completely off the wagon, and go back to my old ways, grumbling about ANOTHER failed attempt.

This time, it's just really pissing me off. WHY is this happening?  And what can I do about it, other than fight like hell and pray it passes?  Nothing, I guess.  This seems to be MUCH more a mental block than a physical one. If I could just understand what's going on in my head, I feel like I could get a better handle on getting through it.  But....*sigh*....I think it may just be different for every person, which means the answer must be, too.

Guess I'll go get my first mile in, now...and pray for motivation for the rest of the day.