r so it seems these days. I swear, it's so much harder to find time to THINK, much less ACT on anything, even stopping to get gas, these days. My life has become way too hectic. I'm not sure how I got here, but I know I have to Slow It Down if I ever hope to regain control of it.
Yesterday is a great example of what I've been dealing with lately. I had two things I wanted to accomplish yesterday before I got home: I wanted to go get a run in (yes, RUN), and I had to drop a dish off at a friend's house on my way home. That was it. I told Keith I'd be home around 5:30-6:00pm, at the latest. Somehow during the day, that exploded into an hour-long run, followed by the pet store, the home building store, the grocery store, the gas station, and THEN my friend's house. I did manage to consolidate some of it down to a stop at Wally World (gawd I despise that place!!!), and I put my friend off until tomorrow. But even just that put me getting home after 7pm. Day Officially Gone.
Despite all that, I'm very proud that I did NOT try to short-change myself by shortening my run. I call it a run...but what it was was Week One, Day One of Runkeeper's beginner 5k training plan. It was only supposed to be a 1.5 mile walk (or very slow run), but since my fastest run right now IS very slow, I tried to walk at a very fast pace. I was feeling pretty good yesterday, though, and since the trail I was on was very shady, and at least partly downhill, I decided to trot along as much as I could for as long as I could. That turned out to be a little over a quarter of a mile, which I was ecstatic about. I may have been able to go a little farther, but my shade ran out as the trail crossed the interstate over a bridge that had full...and brutal...exposure to the sun.
I decided to walk a ways.
At the 1 mile marker, I turned around, and headed back, running any parts that were shady and down hill. Not sure there was much of that, actually, but by the time I hit cool-down, I was very sure that I could not and SHOULD not have run any more than I did. My hip was yelling pretty fiercely that I had done it a serious injustice, and for the first time in a good while, I was pouring sweat.
It felt so good to be out there again...not just walking in my work clothes, but actually putting on my sweats, tying up my hair, inserting my earbuds, cranking up my tunes and going all in...it was amazing. It didn't hurt that I'd been fantasizing (yes, really) about hitting the trail again. I have missed this part of my life so much, it's unreal. I can't wait until I can really get out and run again... a whole, entire, several-miles long run.
I know that this is one day of my life. And I know that to get where I want to be, I'm going to have to string a whole lot of these kinds of days together. But you have to start somewhere, and for me, that was yesterday. I'd be lying if I said I don't have Grand Plans right now...visions of future race bling are dancing in my head as I type...but right now, I'm just going to be happy to finish Week One, Day Two...which will happen tomorrow.
I'm back to an 'every other day' schedule, right now. It will mean some major adjustments, but I think even Keith can acknowledge how important it is for me to regain continuity and consistency right now if I'm going to gain any traction to dig myself out of this hole I've been in for so long. It will come. I believe in myself enough to know that it will. Now, I just need to believe that I'm worth investing the time in more than everything else in my life that always seems to take precedence over what I need. Therein lies the challenge.