So, I was sitting here in my office, talking to a colleague about something totally unrelated, when it occurred to me that I haven't blogged in the past two months. And surprise....I am no different than I was two months ago. Ergo, I have lost no weight. At all.
Why? Where did the breakdown come into play?
I think much of it was due to our mutual decision to change tactics to the Michael Thurmond program, which has worked so well for me in the past. I really liked this program, especially the physical aspect of it, and I was getting incredible...bankable...results. Unfortunately, the food aspect was enough to make me run screaming from the room, but the crazy thing was that I was in control of that, and could have easily changed it!
Here's the burning question in my mind...why didn't I change it? If I was getting tired of it, why didn't I change the food? I don't have an answer for that.
Regardless....I stopped. Everything. It was a slow process, but the ultimate result was the same...it led me back here. And since it worked before, I was sure it would work again. Problem was, my enthusiasm was not in place like it was back in '05. Where the hell did it go?
I don't know, but that's what I've got to find. I did try to get back in the food groove, and still am...somewhat. But the exercise is nowhere to be found. And without that, my efforts are pretty much in vain. If I don't move, I won't lose, period.
I think a combination of things/events led me to come off the program last time...all of which lead squarely back to my front door, regardless, and by that, I simply mean that I take responsibility of the lameness of my excuses. However, that does NOT mean that I need to continue to fall back on the fact that I take that responsibility, and be done with it. The buck stops here: I need to figure out how to get out of my own head, and into my track shoes.
In other words, shut up already and Just Do It!
Do I have a plan for this? Nope. Do I have the will? Nope. Do I have the ability? That I do have. I just need to figure out how to harness it. I want to believe that it's a self-generating thing, that if I can ever just get started on the damn road, I will keep going by virtue of my willpower, my drive, building as I go, powered (or rather, fueled) by the results I see in the mirror and on the scale.
It's the start that gets me. How do I start? I don't know....but in the meantime, while I contemplate the Question of the Ages, I am still sitting here, vegetating, waiting on the Heavens to open and Enlightenment to magically shine down from Above. Good God.
Where's Nike when you need him?
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