Food and Stuff

One of the things I've been working very hard on this year, in addition to my running and activity levels, is my relationship with food.  It's always been a love/hate thing for me.  I truly love food...all kinds of food. You might even consider me a 'foodie', because I love trying new things and there is very little out there that I don't particularly care for.  But I also hate food, because of what it does to me and how it makes me feel afterward.  It's not the food's fault...it's my abusive nature that's the cause of my issues, and that is what I've had to learn how to accept this year.  It's a process, a very slow one, at that.  But I'm winning this battle, slowly but surely.


When I first started this journey, I knew that in order for me to be successful, I had to put an ironclad program in place, and stick to it rigidly until I knew that I had gotten all the sugar and salt and excess carb cravings out of my system.  It was a good plan, and it worked well for me.  But man cannot live on spinach and turkey alone, and I started branching out (very carefully!) about a month ago...going off my strict plan on the weekends, and splurging a bit with my dinners on run days.


I should clarify this all by saying that I have at NO time in this process gone over my allotted calories on MFP.  I have, however, come excruciatingly close to my limit on occasion. 


The key to all of this has been in the planning.  First, I made sure not to eat more on non-run days, because on those days, I didn't earn extra calories for my exercise.  Then, I realized that if I just walked at lunch, it would buy me an extra 300-400 calories to use during the day, so it became all about that burn, 'bout that burn, baby.


Can I just say that that behavior is just as counterproductive as eating willy-nilly is?  Why? You may ask...because it's also an unhealthy attitude that feeds into the addiction aspect of our relationship with food.  I'm not eating more because I'm hungry, or because my body needs it...I'm eating more because I can.


This past week or so, I've noticed that the quality of my off-plan food choices has gone down, too.  That really concerns me, especially because every time I've eaten something not-quite-up-to-snuff, I've suffered for it in terms of my overall feel of healthiness.  Most of the time, it translates into nausea, but I've also noticed an upswing of aches and pains all over my body that can't specifically be linked to my workouts.  This is not good, nor is it worth it for the few seconds of pleasure I get from whatever mouthful caused it.


So...my project this week is to:

1.  continue to branch out with my food choices (especially on the weekends), but to make sure I'm choosing the healthiest options when I do, and
2. make sure that I'm not using my additional workouts solely to add calories to my total for the day so that I can eat extra. 

Yes, I'm hungrier these days, because of my additional workouts.  Yes, I probably need a bit more food.  But I'd like to end the day with at least 300-400 calories extra in my totals.  That will make me happy, and also help to boost my weight loss while still ensuring that I'm eating enough calories.  It's a balancing act, for sure...but so worth it!