Confessions of an Over-Motivated Runner

I never thought I'd admit to being overly motivated about anything...but here I am.  Life is funny sometimes.  I really want every run to go perfectly. I guess every runner does, but it has really become an obsession with me to try to 'outdo' my last run.  I want to see my speed creep up, or my distance creep out. It doesn't matter by what degree...as long as it's better. 

I think I've already proven by the travesty that was my last Saturday run that my logic is incredibly faulty in this, but I seem to have developed a blind spot in that I don't see it happening until it's too late.  To my credit, I've tried to become more observant, but like everything else, it's a process.

*sigh*

All that aside, I have really struggled with my runs so far this week.  Monday, I did a three-miler with my running buddy, Sheila, with a mile cool-down after.  Even though we edged our way into the 12:00+ range, we both felt like crap for the entire run.  It was pretty ugly, and I was just proud to have survived it.  On Wednesday, Sheila bailed on me due to some nasty bug that's been making the rounds at work, so I did another 3 mile out and back by myself. Although I felt pretty good at the outset, I had stopped for gas on the way to the trail and snagged a Propel to drink as I ran.  Normally, I run with plain water, and IF I drink a Propel, it's as a recovery after. 

Now I know why people say 'don't eat or drink anything during a race run that you haven't trained with beforehand'.  Ugh.  It destroyed my stomach.  I was nauseated the entire run, and my body was screaming for mercy. Never again...I learned a valuable lesson with that one.  But even at that (and with a plague of technical difficulties involving my headphones), I still managed a 12:00-range run again.  One of these days, I'd really like to see that 12 become an 11.  My brain knows it's just a matter of time....but my heart weeps for it.  Today is another run day, and surprisingly, I'm really not looking forward to it.  It's rare, but it happens.  I don't dread it, by any means....but if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know how much I love running in the rain, and they're predicting rain all freaking day today.  Double ugh.  Oh well, I'll deal, one way or the other.

In other news, today being Friday, I was down to 205.4, another pound lost on the scale today (yay for consistency!), for a total of 75.6.  That means I've hit another goal!

Goal	Significance	Date Met	Actual Weight
	Starting Weight, BMI 41 (severely obese)	10/14/2014	281
279	New Decade	1/5/2015	277.6
278	BMI 40	1/5/2015	277.6
271	BMI 39	1/12/2015	270.2
269	New Decade	1/16/2015	268.8
264	BMI 38	1/27/2015	263.6
259	New Decade	2/13/2015	257.8
257	BMI 37	2/20/2015	254.6
256	25 POUNDS LOST!!	2/20/2015	254.6
250	BMI 36	3/13/2015	246.6
249	New Decade	3/13/2015	246.6
243	BMI 35 (no longer severely obese, now just obese)	4/2/2015	241.8
239	New Decade	4/17/2015	238.8
236	BMI 34	5/8/2015	235.2
231	50 POUNDS LOST!!	6/5/2015	228.6
229	New Decade, BMI 33	6/5/2015	228.6
225.5	HALF WAY THERE!!	6/12/2015	224.6
222	BMI 32	7/3/2015	221.2
219	New Decade	7/24/2015	218.2
216	BMI 31	8/14/2015	214.2
209	New Decade, BMI 30	9/11/2015	208.8
206	75 POUNDS LOST!!	9/25/2015	205.4
202	BMI 29 (no longer obese, now just overweight)
199	New Decade, Onederland!
195	BMI 28
189	New Decade
188	BMI 27
181	BMI 26, 100 POUNDS LOST!!!
179	New Decade
174	BMI 25
170	GOAL!!!
169	New Decade
167	BMI 24 (no longer overweight)

Wow....there are getting less and less goals to hit on this list.  I LOVE seeing measurable progress, don't you?  It's a reward in itself to be able to tick off little boxes, lol....I guess it's the OCD part of me kicking in.


What about you?  Do you keep charts on stuff like I do?  Besides the scale, how do you measure your progress?