To Snore....or Not to Snore...

hen last we left off, I was preparing for my first support group meeting...the first of three I must attend.  It all went very well, actually better than I expected. Not only was the room full of people going through this just like me, but several attendees had already undergone their surgery and were still attending because they saw the value.  That was very encouraging, not only to see them, but to hear them share bits of advice and how things are going was also really helpful. By far, the best aspect of the whole night was turning around and seeing the doctor and his entire team sitting in the back of the room, attending...and sharing...right along with all of us. That was incredible, to know that they were making themselves THAT available for all of us.  They even joked and shared questions and info with the nutritionist (who was running the meeting) as we talked about ways we might alter traditional thanksgiving recipes to make them healthier. Overall, I was very pleased, and eager for the next meeting in December!

Right before Thanksgiving, I received in the mail the kit I needed to conduct my sleep study at home, to see whether I have sleep apnea or not ( I snore really bad).  This kit contained a watch-like device, a lead to mount to my chest directly under my throat, and a monitor to wear on my finger (like the thing they make you wear sometimes when they're taking your blood pressure).  I was supposed to sync all this with an app I had to download to my phone, put it all on, and then start the app right before I went to sleep so it could record all night.  This morning, when I woke up, I stopped the app, which automatically sent the recording to the sleep lab for analysis. They will send the results to my pulmonary doctor, who will go over them with me when I go in for my follow-up appointment with him.

The process turned out to be fairly easy, but it was not easy to sleep, knowing that all that was going on. The watch and the lead didn't bother me....I'm used to sleeping with my Garmin watch on, anyway.  But the monitor on my finger really irritated my finger to the point that it kept waking me up.  Not only that, but they want you to try to sleep at least half the night either on your side or your back.  I am a stomach sleeper, with a curvature in my spine. I can NOT sleep on my back unless I'm propped up to the nines. And sleeping on my side always culminates on me rolling to my stomach. Given all that, I'm not sure how much actual good info they might have managed to capture, as Keith says I slept like a rock and didn't snore all night like usual. Not sure how he knows that, because it seemed like I was awake half the night, listening to HIM snore....but I guess we'll find out how much...or how little...sleep I actually got when I go in for my appointment.

Next up...prepping for my colonoscopy and endoscopy on Friday!

A Brand New Chapter for Me!

he definition of insanity, as you have probably heard, is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  I'm really tired of this merry-go-round I've been on for the past 50-ish years, and I'm ready to get off. Permanently.

So...after much, much thought and prayer, I've decided to get gastric sleeve surgery.

Fortunately, for me, my insurance is going to take care of the cost....as long as I jump through all their pre-qualification hoops. That means a 3 month bariatric program, during which time I will be seen by several specialists, all who have to clear me for the surgery, among other things.

For those of you who might be interested, here's MY personal rundown (your mileage may vary, depending on any ailments you may already be suffering from):

I started out with my primary care provider, who is awesome. During my most recent checkup, I talked to her about it and asked her what she thought. She told me she felt very strongly that, considering my history, this was a logical next step for me, and she then referred me to a bariatric doctor who was in my network, and who she also had worked with a good bit in the past. 

Let me stop here for a moment, and say that if you have never given anything the 'ole college try', this is NOT the place to start that journey. They want to know you have done everything humanly possible to lose weight and get healthy before they will even contemplate talking to you about going the surgical route. I have....and have documented a good deal of it here over the years, but this is most definitely NOT the sum total of my struggles, by any means. I tried many different diets and programs over the years, most of which happened way before this blog was ever thought about.

Disclaimer over (for the moment).  I did make an appointment to see the bariatric doctor, in whose office I  stayed for over two hours, going over all the fine points and details I would be subjected to over the next three-ish months.  Not only did I have to agree to do everything they asked, but if I either intentionally or by accident skipped any part of what they were asking, I would have to start the process all over again. Prior to my first appointment, they had emailed me a packet of paperwork the equivalent of War and Peace to fill out and bring with me. This paperwork included a VERY comprehensive background on everything I had ever done to lose weight....when it happened, for how long, how much weight I had lost, how much of that I had regained, etc.....all the way back to my childhood.

Not kidding.

Of course, it also included a lot of medical questions, etc...the usual for a doctor's office, just much more detailed. All that was gone over in that first appointment, along with all their expectations, and a lot more instructions and paperwork I would need to have filled out as I went along.

It was a lot. A really lot.  But...you gotta choose your hard, right? Right.

My first assignment was to buy a notebook that I could keep a very comprehensive daily journal in. In this journal, I have to note what I have for three meals and two snacks per day, what I drank with those meals, how much water I've had for the day, who I ate each meal with and where, how much exercise I got, what kind and for how long, how I felt before and after, and what I was thinking about.

Again....not kidding.  I also have charts I have to fill out for my exercise and my daily (yes, DAILY) weigh-ins.

My next assignment was to book appointments with all the specialists they wanted me to see and get clearance from for my surgery, so I spent the better part of a day getting all that done. Because one of my specialists was a gastric doctor to get an EGD done (endoscopy in which they check out your esophagus, stomach and duodenum), and I already had a colonoscopy scheduled, I was able to just add that procedure to the day's events and get both knocked out while I'm...er...knocked out. 

My first actual specialist appointment was for a psychological evaluation, which wound up being a Zoom call online, so I didn't have to take time away from work. We spoke about 30 minutes, during which she asked me a lot of questions, and sent me a link for a video to watch later. That one was fairly painless, so I was ready for the next one, which was with a pulmonary doctor. 

He had to make sure there was no issue that would make it hard for me to be anesthetized. During that appointment, he took X-rays of my lungs (which were clear and looked good), and set me up for a sleep study to determine whether I may have sleep apnea. If so, that would explain why I'm always exhausted. I do know that I snore a lot...so more to come on that.  I also found out that I have a curvature in my spine, which I had long suspected, since I have never been able to do sit-ups, and my collar bones are uneven (when they're visible, lol).  I will have a follow up with the pulmonary doctor once he has the results of my sleep lab back.

Yesterday, I had my first of three (one a month) appointments with a nutritionist and a physical therapist. Having never been to either, this was very interesting to me. During PT, I found out I am in much better physical health than most kids my age, which made me feel pretty good.  I think I can attribute that to the running I've done in the past, and I can't wait to get back there again....that's definitely my happy place.  

The nutritionist was also very interesting, and I found out that although I do know and do a LOT of what she shared, I also learned a lot, and had more questions than I thought.  I know that I'll be able to build on what I learned....I just hope I think of better questions for my next appointment!

So far, that's been my journey to this point, and all this started on Sept 20th, with my first visit to the bariatric doctor. I have to say, that out of all the stuff they've asked me to do so far, by far the hardest part of this was picking up the phone that first time. 

Next up will be my first support group meeting, which will be next week. I have to attend three of those as well, one each month. I'll be turning all my paperwork in for the month of October at that meeting, and my November logging is well underway.  So far, so good!

I'm very excited about this journey. I've had several people ask me if I'm nervous about it...and the answer would have to be no, not at all. I've done extensive homework on the procedure as well as the prep and life after.... I've talked to people who have been through it to learn best practices and what NOT to do....and I just feel more excited to do this every day! 

I hope you'll stick around and share this journey with me. And if you have any questions, fire away! If I don't know the answer, I'll definitely find out, and we can both learn something. 

Weigh-in Wednesday

ell, it may be Wednesday, but I actually did my weigh-in on Monday this week. At some point (maybe next week), I'll actually change it to Wednesdays, but I'm really glad I didn't this week, because it's pouring rain, and the scale I currently use is next door.

I digress.  After skipping the dreaded week two weigh-in completely (out of town), I am happy to report that I lost another pound and a half, making a total of 8.5 pounds down.  Everybody's gotta start somewhere. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it will grow. And in order to GET to the big numbers, you gotta go through a lot of little ones first.

Not sure why my MyFitnessPal counter isn't accurate right now, but it may have something to do with the fact that I had over 100 pounds to lose and it only goes to 99. I've got to look into that.  In the meantime, I'm gearing up to start adding some steps next month, so maybe I'll see if I can add a step counter or something to hold myself accountable with that. I have a Garmin 235, which adjusts your goal so it gets higher as you do more. So I may not hit 10,000 a day for a while, but I still may be hitting my goal for that day. Baby steps, still...

Anyway, I do feel like I'm back to normal, as far as the head thing goes. My energy level is back, and I'm waking up with less aches and pains. Getting all my water in has been my biggest challenge, but I'm doing better in the last couple of days, so I'm hoping I'm back on track with that as well. So far, so good! Excited to see what the rest of this week will bring!

Ho-Ho-Ho....ly Crud!

hristmas is a time of joy, love, laughter, family....and feasting. For Christians, it's a time to celebrate the birth of our Savior.  Despite that, it seems like the older I get, the more bah-humbuggier I get, though. I love the time with family and friends, but more and more, I just want it over.  It's too much. Of everything.

People that know me in person know me as a loud, boisterous, friendly, outgoing person. I work to achieve that persona, because inwardly, I'm extremely introverted and shy. I'd much prefer to curl up with a good book or a nice mug of coffee and my favorite show and decompress than go...well, anywhere, really. I just am not a people person. So peopling is a lot of work for me, and it just saps my energy to keep up with any holiday hoop-la.

This year, because we had a grandbaby due right at Christmas, we decided to spend it in Tennessee, where I could roll work and pleasure together with a site visit and be there for the birth of the baby, too.  Keith was supposed to join me as soon as the baby was born and stay through Christmas day before heading back to GA, but our plans went sideways when he unexpectedly had to stay home.

Since Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without Poppy, we decided to postpone the gift-giving a couple of weeks and go back up to open presents with our granddaughters then.  This past weekend was a 3-day holiday weekend for me, so it was the perfect time to go back up, have Christmas with the girls, and also see Keith's cousin and his wife, who we're very close to.

This time, all went much closer to plan. I am happy to report that my first trip on my program went well, and even though I didn't pack any food to take with me, I was able to stay well within my calorie counts every day, and make great choices.  So I was very pleased with my progress. Saturday evening, we made plans to meet the cousins for dinner at a local restaurant, and I was surprised to see Keith's cousin looking so exhausted and just....bad.  When he mentioned that he was coming off working 13 days straight with no off-day, I chalked it up to that, and thought nothing more about it.

It wasn't until Monday when we were traveling back to GA that I noticed my sinus pressure building and Keith told me I had probably caught his cousin's cold.

Side note: maybe it's just me....but isn't it common courtesy if you make plans to meet someone to let them KNOW if you're under the weather?? Because apparently, he was. Massively.  

I spent the next three days with some of the most serious sinus pressure I have ever experienced, and only today has it FINALLY started letting up and draining. Of course, that comes with a different set of challenges, but it's infinitely better than feeling like you're head's about to explode.

Needless to say, once the pressure started mounting, all thoughts of logging anything went straight out the window, along with my appetite. I haven't logged any food...even today....since Monday, but I'm quite confident that I haven't come close to my daily caloric limit, either. Tomorrow will be a better day, and although I'm feeling so much better today, I know that it'll be even that much better tomorrow. I'll start worrying about getting back on track with my plan then.  

Life happens. Things will come up, and part of any successful plan is knowing how and when to work around things, and how and when to be kind to yourself.  When you're legitimately sick is exactly such a time.  So...I will start my logging again then. I am STILL making the best choices I can make...I haven't used this as an excuse to jump off the train.  But my log will still be there tomorrow, and so will my food of choice. The best lesson to be learned from this is not to let a pebble on the track derail you.  Locomotives can crush a pebble and keep on chugging like it was never there.

Don't ever sweat the small stuff.  

Reporting In

ow that I'm off and running, I can start looking back to see what I can do better. This week was really smooth until I hit the weekend, and that's when I starting having trouble.  

No....it's not what you think. In fact, if anything, it's quite the opposite.  I'm not eating too MUCH on the weekends, I'm actually eating too little.  During the week, my schedule is defined by my work calendar.  As such, I can set reminders to go off when I need to do things...in my case, like EAT. So...my little bell dings, and I get up and go fix my next meal.  But on the weekends, I don't get that. Consequently, I get up on Saturday morning, fix my breakfast, and start cleaning/organizing/making grocery lists, whatever it is, and before I know it, it's 2:30 and I've literally missed 3 meals that I should have eaten.  That's a problem when you're trying to eat several small meals during the day to keep your metabolic fire stoked and burning properly.  

I think I'm going to have to set some reminder alarms on my phone for the weekends so that I can work on that better.  I want to make sure I'm staying on track every day, and not just during the week.  Consistency is so important. The more consistent I am with this, the more my body responds.

So....I have a game plan for this weekend. Lesson learned. The first of many, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I was able to weigh myself this morning.  First, I lost 7 lbs last week (yay!), and second, I was able to see that first digit drop.  Now I'm officially in the 2's again!  It's still a very long way to One-derland from here, but that's ok. I've made it before and I'll make it again.  This time, I'm going to work on STAYING there instead of just visiting for a minute.

But that's not my only good news. I think the better news is that my body is starting to lose a lot of its normal aches and pains. I'm sleeping a little better (more comfortably), feeling better when I wake up and I've got a bit more energy, too.  I'll take that win any day. It's nice not to feel so old for a change. I'd almost forgotten how good it feels not to have my joints hollering every time I move.

So far, so good. I'm very encouraged by my progress and my mental status right now.  Onward and upward to week 2....

Commitment

here are a lot of excuses people make for not making healthy decisions. Lord knows, I've probably used all the ones you've heard, and made up a few myself.  But by far, my favorite excuse has always been

"I've got to get my head right before I can start."

Now, I know what I mean when I say it, and it sounds Really Good. But the reality, is that it's just another reason I use to keep from doing what I know to do to be healthy....namely, devote the time it takes to prep my food, and get my ass off the couch and moving around a track somewhere.

What I always meant by that statement was that when my head is 'right, everything is clicking, I'm all jazzed up about starting everything up again, I'm motivated, excited, and driven to do the damn thang.

Generally, it is rare that I feel this way until wayyy into the process, when my body starts responding to all the positive changes and my energy starts coming back up to 'normal' levels.  It shouldn't matter where my head's at when I start something, as long as I commit to following through with what I know to be the right course of action.

It's not a head thing....it's a commitment thing.

The question I should be asking myself is whether I'm willing to make a commitment to myself.  I make commitments every day....to my work, to my marriage, to my friends and family, even to my dogs. I never have any trouble with the follow-through on any of them, it's just another thing on my list to attend to.  

So why in the world should it be so different to make a commitment to myself?

What a great question. I wish I had an answer, but the bottom line is that it shouldn't be any different.  A commitment, after all, is a commitment....it shouldn't matter who it's to or what it's about. It only matters that you honor it as much as any other commitment in your life.

Coming into this, I felt like I was kinda shanghaied into getting back into the swing of things, in a way...I had to make a sudden decision and before I knew it, I was committed.  No time to get my head on straight, or to get mentally prepped for the change...the bell rang, and we were off.

Maybe it's better this way. Sometimes I have a tendency to think something to death instead of just getting it over with...sort of like putting alcohol on a cut. You know it's gonna sting, but the longer you think about it, the bigger the sting gets in your mind until you wind up convincing yourself that it's going to be like putting molten lava on your finger and you hit the reject button on the whole thing.  This time, I didn't give myself time to think about it or react....I just acted.

And consequently, I'm very contentedly on day 3 and doing very well, indeed. :) 

New Year, New Goals. 2023, Be Good To Me!

ell, 2023 is here.  A new chance to write a new chapter in a 12 chapter book with 365 pages in it.  I love that concept...the ability to create my own story. 

I've done it before; I can do it again.

It's just a matter of dedicating myself to ME.  That's a really strong statement, and it takes everything I've got, because concentrating on me goes against my very nature. I'm much more inclined to ignore me and concentrate on everyone else.

Why? I wonder...

Why should I be the very least important person of my acquaintance? Why do I deserve less time, less attention, less of everything, than anyone else I know?  I think that deserves some very deep contemplation, because someone, somewhere programmed me to think that way. I don't think that's anyone's natural inclination. In fact, I think our programming would probably more easily go the other way....ME FIRST! LOOK OUT FOR #1!!!

But I've never been that way. I think it's time I find out why.

In the meantime, I've started back on my program, modified slightly to account for the yummy (and healthy!) meals we've been getting from Every Plate each week. I love that I found this company, and am really enjoying their recipes. (In case you're wondering, NO, I am not a 'paid spokesperson' for them, and I am getting nothing for my reviews. I just love their food.)

I plan on having four small meals per day, and then my regular meal in the evening. Breakfast will consist of 2 eggs and half a grapefruit, the other three meals will be 2 oz of chicken and a cup of salad greens or a green vegetable.  

I plan on stopping my coffee intake at noon, and drinking water past that point, and I'm hoping to get in my 8-8's every day.

For now, this is my plan.  Where, you may ask, is the exercise?

Oh, she's coming. Just not quite yet. I think before, I've had an issue with starting too much at once. So for the moment, I'm going to concentrate on getting my food down. February is soon enough to start back with my walks. And maybe, depending on how I feel at that point, I might even start back trying to run a bit in March.

But for now, I'm just gonna concentrate on baby steps. I hope you'll join me on my new journey, and share yours with me as well. Positive support is everything, so if you're struggling, let me know so I can support and pray for you on your journey, too!