Frustration...and forgiveness.

How many times have my frustrations gotten the better of me? Countless, I'm sure. This week has been absolutely fraught with them, mainly due to the weather, but also with time constrictions. How do I cram all this...this...stuff...into my day? Either it's errands..or weather...or stuff Keith wants me to do at the last minute. Go here...do that...pick this up...drop these off. I'm about ready to pull my hair out! And like a cherry on top of it all sits my self-inflicted anxiety and guilt that I just. can't. do. it. all.

This week's break room offerings. Again...I did not partake.

Despite my best efforts to recoup last week's failed workout attempts, I have not done it. There has simply been no time. By the time I leave work, go walk for the alloted hour, do all my errands, go pick up Keith and head home, it's been 7:30 before I could get home. Then there's dinner to get, dishes to wash, food to pack or cook for the next day, and correspondence/bills/emails to catch up on, all before my 9:00pm bedtime. IF I'm lucky, I don't get to bed too terribly late. Most nights this week, I haven't been lucky.

Which means I wake up tired and cranky, without energy, dragging, slow, hungry, weak....the list goes on. And every afternoon, I feel that frustration level shooting through the roof that I can't get home any freaking earlier. There is just no time for these workouts....not without sacrificing my walk time...and I can't do that. It's just too important to skip.

So, where does that leave me? Last week I swore to myself that I would do whatever it took to make up that workout so that I could get back on track tomorrow. But considering that today is Thursday, that's just not gonna happen. The way I look at it, I have two options: either I can go postal, go on strike, go straight home, throw a fit, throw everyone out of my house and do both Day 1 AND Day 2 tonight without walking, but still feel guilty for A) not walking today and B) overworking my body, thus negating tomorrow's workout, or I can let go of the guilt and frustration, let go of my crazy, control-freak behavior, throw out all my negative self-talk and throw myself behind all the amazing accomplishments I've made this week!

• I've eaten CLEAN...and stayed completely on track.
• I've walked...every single day. And I've increased my pace without increasing my heart rate, which means I'm that much closer to being able to start running again.
• I've gotten hooked into some great apps that will help me track my progress, some of which are displayed on my page. This will help me stay accountable to myself...I do love gadgets.
• I've signed up for a February walking challenge on Endomondo! This will be my first 'official' challenge, but I'm hoping it won't be my last! I'd love to have something to work on each month...but we'll see how this one goes, first.

And most importantly...I've realized that I am not on a timetable for losing weight, getting in shape, or getting healthy. This is a lifelong path I'm on, and the only end date is my demise...in my sleep...of natural causes...at a very old age. My journey is not timed, and as long as I am creating forward motion, I'm doing well. So what if I am two weeks behind on my workouts? In the grand scheme of things, what's two weeks, when I've got a lifetime to work on me? Far more important to love myself throughout the process...and to be good and kind to myself, as well.

Are you frustrated with your routine or something else in your life? Can you forgive yourself for not being perfect...not doing things perfectly? Do yourself a favor....show yourself some mercy, let it go, and breathe.