You know, sometimes you just need to take a step back and look at things objectively. Kinda hard to do when you're really, really close to a situation.
Case in point: this was the first race I've done in six years. The first race I've done since regaining (and adding to) all that weight and then losing it again. It was a HUGE accomplishment, by anyone's standards.
So...why did I wind up being upset about it? Not really upset...that's not the right word. Disappointed is probably better. I was definitely disappointed that I did not get a PR...or at least match my previous time.
For God's sake...why??
It was a terribly humid morning, I ran with no music, and the sun was beating down. I had five weeks less training than I did before. And I'm six years OLDER than I was before. I don't know why I had it in my head that it was somehow a terrible thing that I did not PR. Just finishing (strong, I might add) was a big hairy deal.
This is how our perception of ourselves gets skewed.
I really had to give myself a long, hard, mental shake to get over this. In some ways, I'm still doing it. I had a great day...a great time with good friends. My friend Lauran came to support me, and ran the race in great time, considering she hasn't run since November (she's much fitter than me). And my friend, Tracy was waiting at the finish line (and various other points in the race) to cheer us on and take pics (which I will add as Blogger allows). My perspective on the day is improving by leaps and bounds with every day that passes. Still...that morning, my time of 45:01 (a 14:30 pace) was a bitter disappointment.
Was I the last runner? No. There were several behind me. I wasn't even the last in my age group. But I was next to the last. Guess it gives me lots of room for improvement. :) I may not be a turtle, but for the moment, I'm still wearing a shell, and it's going to take a bit more training to get it off.
Today, I'm starting the next phase: resistance training, twice a week. And I'm also starting a 10K training program. As much as I'd like to, I don't really see myself tackling a 10K this year...most of them have a set time you must finish in, and I can't do that yet. It may be a while before I can. Still...I'm going to train very hard and see where I am if/when the next opportunity presents itself. In the meantime, I'm going to see if I can find another 5K to set in my sights in the next month or two.
Final Ranking: Overall- 227th of 232
Overall Female- 114th of 119
Age Group- 15th of 16
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