When I get into a groove...especially one that I have fought long and hard to obtain...it really upsets me when something happens that disturbs it. Especially when the disturbance is out of my control. The last thing one needs to have happen two weeks out of running a race is to have their training sidelined...but such is life, I suppose. How we handle the sidelines is just as important as how we handle the actual event, or so I keep telling myself. I know in my heart of hearts that this is true; doesn't keep me from grumbling about it, though.
When I ran the Covered Bridge 5K five years ago (my first ever race!), I had started my training in March, and it was for a 10K. I only ran the 5K for the race experience before my 'big' one, since I routinely ran more than 3 miles most days of the week at that time. This time, I started a month later, have run fewer days each week, less miles overall, and trained with this particular race in mind.
And was feeling good....right up until last weekend, when I had to put on the brakes with a screeching halt.
...can I just take a minute to say how much that truly sucked?
It was almost more than I could stand to skip that first run and mess up my until-then-perfect record. It was easier, but still hard to miss the second. When Keith, looking out for my best interest, asked me to sit out the third, it was guilt-free....but I kept telling myself that I would have to get back on the horse on Sunday, or risk not running at all. The scary part was just how easy it would have been to not run last night. My body did not want to....but after a week off, neither did my mind. Not really.
It terrifies me to think of how much work I have put in for the last 5 months, and how easily I could let it all slip away, how easily my mind would allow me to backslide into old, bad habits again.
Ultimately, of course, it was my mind that drug me through the door and out to my car last night, with thoughts of already-mailed entry fee checks swirling in my head. But it could have just as easily gone the other way. It is that, more than any other thing, that I am going to have to learn to overcome on this journey....to take one tiny battle at a time, as they come, and try to win the day, rather than trying to tackle the whole thing at one time in a win-or-lose-it-ALL prospect. Life is not like that, and neither should this journey be. I have to make the best of what I have to work with...every single day, from now on. There will be days when I will not win...I know this. But thankfully, last night was not one of them.
Even with my er....issue...still in evidence (but greatly improved), I still started out solidly enough. My knee felt stiff, but still ok, for all that. And I wasn't really having any pain or discomfort from anything else, so I felt pretty good, even knowing that my schedule called for a long run...my last before the race. But the humidity was very high, given that it had rained within the last hour, and combined with a distinct lack of proper hydration over the weekend, it was a recipe for disaster. The farther I ran, the less energy I had, and the more I became aware that I was not 100% yet...not by a long shot. I started worrying (unnecessarily, I found out later) that I was doing more harm than good. My knee really seized up the first half mile or so, but thankfully, the longer I ran, the better it felt. By the time I hit 3.25, I started feeling nauseous.
I have never yet gotten so sick during a run that I had to throw up, but last night was a close one. If I had had to, at least I'd have been in an area secluded enough to minimize the humiliation involved, but I did have to stop running and start walking. Another quarter mile and my workout was officially ended, but I generally keep the program running after it calls time, just so I get credit for the calorie burn I have walking back to the car. Last night, I shut it off after another minute, because I knew I was bringing my average down with every step I took. I easily walked another half mile after I stopped recording, though.
By the time I got back to the car, I had finished the rest of my water (I always run with a bottle...call it my crutch), and was feeling much better. But I really need to watch my water intake and make sure I'm staying properly hydrated, especially during the warmer months, and even when it 'feels' cool outside. I know better...but it's part of that diligent vigil that is now my life. Even the smallest things still have to be tended, remembered, followed through on...every single day.
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