Descending.

When I moved to the mountains four years ago, I was in much better shape than I currently am, and much more active outdoors.  I did a lot of hiking and exploring in the evenings and on weekends...something I was not privy to in Atlanta...and I found that I loved it! In fact, one of the things that I'm most looking forward to is to get back to that level of fitness where I can feel comfortable venturing out again for extended (and sometimes challenging) periods of time. I truly love being in the outdoors.
But, I'm naturally a klutz, and over the years, I have come to embrace that fact.  Consequently, I am very careful about my footing when I hike, knowing that one wrong placement can send me crashing to the ground, or into the underbrush, over rocks and through trees, or worse: sliding pell-mell down a ravine...a truth I have learned the hard way more than once.  It's worse...much worse...going downhill than it is going up; I learned that lesson early on in my ramblings. Going uphill, I have much more control over where I place my feet, and can make sure I have a good purchase before I gamble placing my weight on that little tentative foothold. Going up, there is solidness in front of my face; I know exactly what I'm dealing with. I feel much more secure in my environment.
Going down is a different matter. There is nothing in front of me but air; nothing to grab onto to steady myself.  Every step I take is a potential minefield, especially if there is loose dirt or gravel involved. If my foot starts moving unexpectedly, I don't have enough of a sense of balance to right myself, or to save myself from getting hurt badly. To someone as balance-challenged as I am, it's terrifying.

This morning, I saw this status posting on my facebook feed, and it really spoke to me:

Life As The Fat Friend Blog

If you want to get from the top of the mountain to the bottom of the valley, you don't jump off a cliff. You find a path and you take the arduous steps to get where you want to go.

How do you lose a large amount of weight? One small change at a time.

...and suddenly, it all clicked for me.  No wonder I had such a hard time last time I lost this weight!  I was going downhill!  That same terror that strikes my heart everytime I have to navigate a steep slope was before me again....except, not being in familiar territory, I wasn't able to recognize it.  And instead of proceeding cautiously and watching my footing, I dug my heels in, and backed away from the edge. After all...going uphill is SO much easier!

The more I think on this concept, the more profound it actually gets.  I think I will probably be chewing on this little tidbit for quite a while....I want to make sure it really, really sinks in.  It doesn't matter how long it takes for me to get down the hill...it only matters that I do, and that I am careful in the process, so I don't hurt myself. And I will make it down...as long as I watch my footing.