Temptation

Chips, cookies, York Peppermint Patties...and one donut left.

There is a co-worker (actually several) who gains sadistic pleasure in bringing in goodies for the rest of us to indulge far too much in.  On Thursdays, he is in the habit of frequenting the local donut establishment, and comes into the office bearing gifts that he leaves in the breakroom.  Although I'm much more of a potato/mac and cheese girl, I do love the occasional empty calorie just as much as the next fatty.  And in the past two years that I've been here, I've indulged in far more than my fair share.  Most notably, in the bathroom.  Away from prying eyes.  Like most fatties...I prefer to scarf in private, where nobody can witness my sins but me.

The problem, of course, is that I can't hide it from me.  Nor can I hide it from the rest of the world, as the evidence resides on my hips (and thighs....and stomach....you get my drift).  They may not know it's a donut, but they know it's the result of way too many calories in/ not enough calories out.

The restart of my journey has put an end to that.  It is far more appealing to me not to put a black mark on my so-far-perfect record, than it is to scarf down an empty 500 calorie donut (which invariably leads to binging on them), and have to live with the fact that I marred my streak (probably in a HUGE way).  And I'm very, very proud of that streak.  It's got me where I am right now....three weeks away from the start line, 11+ pounds closer to my goal, and nowhere near falling off the wagon.  I feel strong this time....superman strong.  And after so many years of feeling weak and worthless, that feels pretty damned good.

So, Mr. Temptation can kiss my rapidly shrinking ass....cuz this big girl's not tempted any more.  It just ain't worth it.